The final stop on the American Idol audition tour finds us in Boston, MA tonight and the show kicks off with three of Boston's finest telling us why the next American Idol will be from their home town. Firstly, say the police officers, is because they have the world champion Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots who are world champions so it's only natural that the next American Idol should come from Boston. And with that, the editors queue up a bad audition for our listening displeasure. #11161 attempts I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) and Ryan sarcastically says "Maybe". Roll Credits. Here it comes!

The weather was miserable as the thousands of hopefuls braved the rain but they were adamant that the next American Idol would be from Boston. With the history of the city with the english, Simon had to make a smart remark to kick off the day so what better way to start the show than with an audition from a true patriot. #10315 James Yorkley Jr, 23 from Lynn, MA also known as Ghost as his belt buckled spells out, is going to audition with some hip hop in his red, white and blue outfit with an American flag sticking out of his pocket. He raps his way through a patriotic verse before the judges cut him off. Randy and Paula appreciate what he has to say but it is a singing competition. Simon asks him to give them 10 seconds of a song so he tries Lean On Me . Paula said that she didn't think it was as bad as she thought it would be. It was a no all round.

It was a patriotic city all right. Next up was #14336 Ayla Brown, 17 from Wrentham, MA whose father is a senator, mother is a local TV personality and she sings and plays college basketball. She sings Ain't No Mountain High Enough and Randy wasn't that impressed. He said it was ok but that it didn't blow him away. Paula says that you can tell she can sing but that it's all power voice with no dynamics. Simon says it's like she's come out of this perfect school and has been well groomed, is cute and can sing but it's a bit robotic and there's something a bit empty about it all. Randy says yes. Simon says it would be a definite no from him so it is down to Paula. She asks if she would take on their thoughts and suggestions and Ayla says that she is an athlete and that she has to take on positive and negative criticism all the time. They ask her about what she does and whether or not making it all the way to the top 12 would affect what she is planning on doing this year and she says that she wants to give it a go so Paula agress to put her through. So Ayla becomes the first contestant through to Hollywood from Boston.

So we've had a patriot and an all American girl. Next up must be the immigrant. #12117 Irada Jafarova, 22 from Bethesda, MD believes she is a complete package and auditions with Toni Braxton's Un-Break My Heart . Now if she could only un-break my ears. Simon says that she is one of those packages that you get at christmas where you ask if you can give it back. Randy asks her to do something else. She takes off her gown and shimmies to Chain of Fools which is simply hilarious to watch as she takes the flower out of her hair and tries to sex it up. Oh.. it's a medley as she then starts to sing How do I . Randy is in hysterics. Simon says that everything about the audition was horrific. And with that, she scurries to pick up her things and get out of there.

To add to Simon's building headache was #11568 Laurence Soares, 27 from New Bedford, MA who is wearing an American Idol tshirt and squeals out Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) while Paula screams with laughter. #14090 Alison Laverdiere, 22 from Leominster, MA adds to the pain with a shrilling version of Working for the Weekend . They kept coming and kept sucking... #13914 Katherine Hofmann, 19 from Mastic Beach, NY ruins one of my all time favourite songs by Taylor Dayne, Love Will Lead You Back and has Simon repeating himself. Terrible, terrible, terrible. Ryan adds that the battle between the British has begun again and this time the British are winning. But the battle isn't over.

Adding the throng of twins that seem to appear every season are the O'Donahues. Only one of them is auditioning though due to the other having a cyst on her vocal chord which burst and had to be operated on. #11588 Rebecca O'Donahue, 25 from Dobbs Ferry, NY sings Black Velvet and I like what I hear <em>and</em> what I see but Paula cuts her off before she gets to really throw herself into the chorus of the song. I feel ripped off! Paula says she is absolutely beautiful but her voice isn't as beautiful as she is. Randy says he would give her another shot. Simon says no but then Paula says she'd also give her another chance so she is going to Hollywood.

Next up is #11447 Tatiana Ward, 22 from Hatfield, PA has a point to prove to her grand mother as she sings My Cherie Amour . After singing she talk, talk, talks. I almost liked her but the mouth on her is incredible. Simon finally gets a word in and says she reminds him of a pet poodle he used to have. Paula thought it wasn't the best song choice. Randy says yes and Paula agrees so she is joining the golden ticket holders heading to Hollywood. Tatiana's golden ticket seemed to inspire a run of lucky contestants however, they're all girls. But where are the great guys from Boston?

The next segment is all about the jobs that people have before they audition for American Idol. So many jobs. So little talent. Take one contestant for example who is a chemical engineer and sings the Mickey Mouse March . Why do they even bother?

Disability worker #14014 Holly Corrente, 25 from North Providence, RI tries to use music in her work so has had plenty of rehearsal time for today's audition. She's singing a powerhouse song from Anastasia so it will be interesting to see if she can pull off Left Outside Alone . Paula says that she has something very nostalgic about her voice. Randy agrees that it sounds old fashioned. It could be to do with the old folks she works with. It's a no from all three but she reckons she'll still be back next year.

Singing Cher's Believe is #12709 Kenneth Maccarone, 21 from Providence, RI. It's actually quite scary hearing him sing almost sounding identically to Cher. Randy is laughing hysterically and Paula is holding back. The judges are not impressed. Simon tells him, again, that he should be a female impersonator outside of the competition but Kenneth replies with an "absolutely not". From here a rather tedious debate ensues as Simon makes a career suggestion but Ken wants to hold on to his dignity while he knows he's not going to Hollywood. It's all rather stupid and boring really as Ken was adamant before his audition that they would be impressed. Who would be impressed with a guy who can come in and sound like Cher?

Many a young man has been turned away today since they're just too young and not ready for the big stage that is American Idol. So how #10182 Kevin Covais, 16 from Levittown, NY fare? He sings You Raise Me Up and Simon thinks that anyone over the age of 80 would like him. Paula says that she must be 80 then. Simon argues that he doesn't think anyone under the age of 20 would be able to relate to him but Paula says that because he's the underdog, he could do very well and that not looking like the next American Idol didn't seem to harm Clay Aiken. It's a no from Simon, a yes from Paula and Randy also says yes so he is off to Hollywood.

#10574, #10473, #10392, #10585, #10815, #10761, #11464, #11606, #12645, #13292, #10315, #13971 and #11526 make up a few of the contestants who chose to sing Joy to the World for their audition. They're all pretty nasty which makes this segment about as joyous as, well... ok.. it's not very joyous at all.

Touting himself as the next Clay Aiken, #11161 Michael Sandecki, 20 from Washington, DC auditions with In the Still of the Night . He is completely flat and sounds awfully. Simon says that while you look like Clay, he could sing and he can't. Paula says no and Simon says it was excrutiating. Michael says that he can really sing but he's as nervous as hell and has to pee. Simon says he can come back and audition again once he has been to the bathroom. As he runs off in slow motion we hear the music from Chariots of Fire . When he gets back Simon tells him that he doesn't want any explantions about how he feels better, he just wants him to sing. He barely gets started and Simon tells him that it didn't help and that it made him worse and that he needs to leave.

And with that, the American Idol season 5 auditions are over. 28 made it through to Hollywood making the grand total 175 that will be eliminated by the judges until we have a Top 24. Tomorrow night, the first night of culling begins.